Hey Friends!
I feel like this pregnancy has flown by. Heck, I am already 21 weeks today and can feel Theo moving and grooving in there! It still baffles me how there is a whole human in my body!! It’s wild. Anyway, I wanted to write an update on how things are going. I really wanted to document more of this pregnancy on my channels, but honestly, I have been laying low due to not feeling good mentally or physically. This pregnancy has been challenging in a different way compared to my pregnancy with Violet, so I have been just trying to keep it together. I feel disappointed in how things have gone because I truly wanted this pregnancy to be different. I wanted to feel good, stay on top of my fitness, my business, and my content. I have not done anything for any of those, but it’s just a season. It’s frustrating and I know I need to give myself grace, but I can’t help but feel down about it.
Truthfully, I do not enjoy pregnancy, and because of that, this will be my last. I am confident with that choice and sad at the same time. One with just how I feel during pregnancy, and with how I felt postpartum with Violet. I still worry daily about getting postpartum depression and am scared I will feel those feelings again. If you want to read about my experience, you can check out my blog on that here. Here are the major updates so far in this pregnancy.
Mental Health: Mentally, I am struggling more this pregnancy. I have felt more lows this go around that required an adjustment in my medication. I have felt scared, nervous, and just depressed on and off. I am also struggling with my body image. I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy with Violet and even more postpartum from breastfeeding and my PPD. I am starting this pregnancy 20# heavier and so scared I am going to continue gaining weight like I did. I want to feel like myself and be healthy, in good shape, and a positive role model. Some days I feel like an imposter and like I am so far gone. I need to work on this mindset because it isn’t helping.
Fitness and Nutrition: With Violet, I was very physically active, working, and working out at F45 regularly. This pregnancy, however, has been a struggle to show up for the gym. With my fatigue and chronic headaches, it made it much more difficult to show up for for my workouts. In regards to nutrition, I have been eating a more balanced diet and less sweets compared to my pregnancy with Violet. I have made a conscious effort to include fruits and vegetables daily, take all of my supplements, and drink plenty of water. My weight gain so far has been steady, nothing super concerning. The good news is that I am slowly feeling better and have been making an effort to move my body weekly even if it’s not like it used to be.
Pregnancy Symptoms: As I mentioned above, I struggled with headaches and migraines this pregnancy. That was very different compared to my pregnancy with Violet as I had no headaches whatsoever. It got so bad I was throwing up on the side of the road due to a terrible migraine. The headaches have slowed down significantly, but I still get one here and there which makes it difficult. Another thing I am struggling with is poor sleep and fatigue. I find I am waking up multiple times per night and not feeling fully rested when I wake for the day. This is very odd because I have never had sleep issues in my life! The fatigue is also there. I struggled with this when I was pregnant with Violet, too. I never got the second-trimester energy. This go round it has been the same. I have brain fog often and feel the need for daily naps. It also doesn’t help I have a very active 2-year-old to run after. Lastly, pregnancy constipation. This has been ROUGH, but I am managing with diet changes and supplements. I also had the nausea (of course) but truly that was the easiest of all my symptoms.
The good: I really don’t mean to write a whole post on just the negatives, but the reality is, I am struggling and I always want to be honest about my experiences. If pregnancy is something that you are thriving in, I am truly happy for you (and truthfully a little envious). I know pregnancy is different for every single woman out there. I will say, even though pregnancy is tough, I am so grateful my body is able to do it. I think about Theo often and how excited I am to meet him and truly thank God for this growing baby in my womb.
I am hoping I can start to document a bit more of my pregnancy as I am slowly feeling better and have been showing up to the gym more.
If you read this far, thank you! If you struggle with the same things, just know you aren’t alone. I am here for you if you want to chat! My DMs and Facebook Group are always open!
xoxo Beks
